


Happy Chonikah

by azalben



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Hanukkah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 01:32:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16822429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azalben/pseuds/azalben
Summary: It's the first night of Chanukah and Cheryl Blossom has no idea what that means. Along the way to discovering the meaning of the holiday, she also learns some surprising information about Toni Topaz's past. And eats a donut.





	Happy Chonikah

**INT. THORNHILL - EVENING**

CHERYL BLOSSOM angrily enters the front hall of Thornhill, slamming the door and throwing her bag down on the ground.

**CHERYL**

Guh, TT, you would  _ not _ believe  the day I had.

She walks from the hall to the front parlor, sees TONI standing at the window facing away from her (we can’t see what TONI is doing as of yet), and throws herself down on the couch, kicking off her shoes.

**CHERYL**

First, Josie had a seizure in class,  which was  _ super _ scary. And then everyone  in the first teenager’s detective agency  wandered off to solve whatever dumb mysteries  they’re working on this time… Without  asking me! Can you believe? Everyone skipping  school to fight stick monsters or whatever,  and I’m stuck there in calc. You know, I’ll bet  they don’t even know half our teachers’ names?

CHERYL pauses, waiting for TONI to answer.

**CHERYL (Cont’d)**

Antoinette Topaz, were you even listening  to a word I was saying?

TONI turns around. Behind her is a menorah, two candles lit in the holders.

**TONI**

Sorry, I was saying the prayers in my  head. What’s up, babe?

**CHERYL**

(Confused)  What in the weird candelabra is that?

**TONI**

It’s a menorah.

**CHERYL**

A what?

**TONI**

For Chanukah?

**CHERYL**

For what now?

**TONI**

Cher-bear… You know it’s the first  night of Chanukah, right?

**CHERYL**

...Are you talking about  _ Sh _ anukah?

**TONI**

No, it’s pronounced with a deep “H”  at the beginning.

**CHERYL**

Huh.

**TONI**

Yeah, how to properly pronounce “ch” at  the beginning of words seems to be confusing  for a lot of people.

CHERYL still has a very confused look on her face, almost like the Math Lady GIF. Suddenly, she sits bolt upright.

**CHERYL**

Wait.  _ Why _ are you celebrating Hhhh…  Hhhh…  (Pause)  This holiday.

**TONI**

Cheryl… You know I’m Jewish, right?

**CHERYL**

But you’re… You.

CHERYL gestures to TONI’s body/hair/etc. TONI smirks, and rolls her eyes, then comes to sit down with CHERYL on the couch.

**TONI**

Babe, there are Jews all over the  world, and we can look like anything.

**CHERYL**

Yeah, but your grandpa, isn’t he Native  American?

**TONI**

He is, and my Dad was… Well, a lot of stuff.  But my Mom is Jewish, so technically I’m Jewish.

**CHERYL**

Does that mean you… Go to a temple or  whatever?

TONI laughs, and gently holds CHERYL’s hands.

**TONI**

Nothing like that, babe. I love  the traditions, but I don’t really  practice the religion.

**CHERYL**

I’m so confused.

TONI looks at CHERYL again, brushes back her hair and gives her a kiss on the nose; then stands up and pulls CHERYL to standing, as well.

**TONI**

Come on, we’re going on a trip.

CHERYL looks confused, but lets TONI take her out of the foyer and into the hall.

  
  


**CUT TO: EXTERIOR THORNHILL - NIGHT**

TONI is sitting on her motorcycle, strapping on her helmet. CHERYL walks up, wearing a red helmet to match her red Southside Serpents jacket. CHERYL swings her leg over and sits behind TONI, gripping her around the waist.

**TONI**

Hold on tight.

**CHERYL**

Always.

TONI revs the motorcycle, and they pull off out of frame.

  
  


**EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT**

The motorcycle zooms past the Riverdale town sign, with the Gargoyle King tag spray-painted on it.

  
  


**EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT**

The motorcycle speeds past a sign that says “New York - 24 Miles.”

  
  


**CUT TO: EXT. BROOKLYN - NIGHT**

The motorcycle comes to a stop in front of a Brooklyn brownstone. Inside, we can see lights (including a menorah in the window) and people chatting and holding drinks.

TONI hops off the bike, but CHERYL seems hesitant.

**CHERYL**

Where are we, TT?

**TONI**

This is my Mom’s house. I have to warn  you, it’ll be a lot. But they’ll love you.

TONI grabs CHERYL by the hand, but she stays seated.

**CHERYL**

Wait. If she’s religious, isn’t she…  Aren’t we…

TONI looks at CHERYL, realizing what’s wrong. She gently takes her by the chin, and kisses her on the lips, slowly, lovingly.

TONI kisses her again, a little peck, then stands up, still holding CHERYL’s hand.

**TONI**

It’s not like that. You’ll see.

CHERYL is clearly nervous, but follows TONI anyway.

  
  


**CUT TO: BROWNSTONE DOORWAY**

The door flies open, revealing a WOMAN in her mid-40s wearing a black dress. Sounds of music and guests loudly chatting are coming from behind her.

**WOMAN**

(Shouting behind her) Get the latkes  out of the fryer, the kids are  _ starving _ !

SHE turns to look at CHERYL and TONI standing at the door.

**WOMAN (CONT'D)**

Now, how can I help--

SHE screams with joy, and gives TONI an enormous, enveloping hug, almost knocking her over. When SHE finally releases TONI, TONI turns to CHERYL.

**TONI**

Cheryl Blossom, this is my Mom,  Talia Topaz. Mom, this is Cheryl.

TALIA gives CHERYL one of those big bear hugs, surprising her at first; and then CHERYL hugs her back.

**TALIA**

So this is the girlfriend you’ve  been telling us all about.  (Fake whispering to TONI)  She’s gorgeous, good job.

CHERYL looks like she’s about to cry. TALIA grabs both of their hands, and drags them inside.

**TALIA (CONT’D)**

Come on in, you must be starving. Ah,  what a wonderful Chanukah present! I  love it!

THEY enter the apartment, which is buzzing with life. Children are screaming and chasing each other around, adults are drinking and eating from enormous plates of food. An area in the center of the living room is cleared out, and children and an adult or two are spinning a small top.

**TALIA (CONT’D)**

(Loudly)  Everyone, look who it is, my little  Antoinette, and her  _ stunning _ girlfriend  Cheryl.

EVERYONE cheers, and a few of the adults come up to say hello to them, all giving hugs.

**CHERYL**

(Whispering to TONI)  TT, why is everyone touching me?

**TONI**

Welcome to a Jewish family party,  Cher-bear.

  
  


**CUT TO: DINING ROOM, LATER**

CHERYL and TONI are sitting at a large table adorned with candles (not menorahs). Other adults are there, laughing uproariously and clearly a little drunk.

CHERYL is holding a small, sugared donut in front of her, looking annoyed.

**CHERYL**

This is  _ not _ funny! I’m just asking  why these jelly donuts are called  Sufjan Stevens.

**TONI**

Sufganiyot, Cheryl.

**CHERYL**

That’s what I said!

**TALIA**

Your girlfriend is a delight, Toni.

**TONI**

She just doesn’t know anything about  this holiday, Mom!

A bearded man, UNCLE TOBY, perks up, gesturing wildly with a glass of wine.

**UNCLE TOBY**

Then we’ve got to tell her the Chanukah  story! We must!

He slams his hand loudly on the table, making the candles jump lightly in the air.

**UNCLE TOBY**

(Sonorously)  It begins thousands of years ago…

**TONI**

Oh, brother.

  
  


**CUT TO: AN ANCIENT, CRUMBLING TEMPLE**

UNCLE TOBY’s narration continues over this, but we see the characters portraying the actions as he describes them.

**UNCLE TOBY (V.O.)**

It was a dark time for the Jewish people,  as the villainous King Antiochus ruled  over them, and forbade them from practicing  their religion.

We see a shot of HIRAM LODGE, dressed as a king sitting on a throne.

**UNCLE TOBY (V.O.)**

But one group rebelled against Antiochus,  the Maccabees…

Shot of all the boys from  _ Riverdale _ dressed in rags and holding swords.

**UNCLE TOBY (V.O.)**

...Led by the brave Judah Maccabee.

Shot of ARCHIE ANDREWS leading the boys as they run towards HIRAM’s throne.

**UNCLE TOBY (V.O.)**

Years of fighting ensued.

Shot of a slo-mo battle, as HIRAM and ARCHIE clash swords.

**UNCLE TOBY (V.O.)**

...Until finally, Jerusalem was freed,  and the Jewish people were allowed to  practice their religion again.

Shot of boys cheering, again in slo-mo.

**UNCLE TOBY (V.O.)**

But all was not right. They found their  temple had been destroyed. Defiled.

Shot of boys entering a temple, only to discover it covered in GARGOYLE KING glyphs.

**UNCLE TOBY (V.O.)**

Worse still, the oil in the temple was  tainted. There was only enough to keep  the menorah lit for one night.

ARCHIE pours a small bit of oil in a menorah, and lights it up.

**UNCLE TOBY (V.O.)**

Then a great miracle happened. The oil  kept burning. Not for one night. Not for  two. But for eight nights, the fires  burned, and they were able to repair the  temple and find a fresh supply of oil.

ARCHIE lights the menorah in full, as we cut back to the present.

  
  


**CUT TO: LIVING ROOM**

**UNCLE TOBY**

...And that’s why we celebrate Chanukah.  To rejoice that after so much hardship,  God granted us a miracle of lights.

**CHERYL**

But what’s the deal with the donuts?

**UNCLE TOBY**

They’re  _ delicious _ .

UNCLE TOBY roars with laughter, and everyone follows suit. CHERYL hesitantly takes a bite of the donut, and then nods appreciatively.

  
  


**CUT TO: LIVING ROOM**

CHERYL and TONI are sitting on the floor, though we only see them in close-up. TONI is holding the top from earlier.

**TONI**

This is called a dreidel, it’s like a  top you gamble with.

**CHERYL**

I’m definitely familiar with your feelings  on tops.

**TONI**

Cheryl!

**CHERYL**

(groans) Okay, fine, show me how it  works.

TONI spins the dreidel, and talks as it spins.

**TONI**

Each player puts some money in the middle.  Then you spin, and it can land on any one  of four sides. There are four Hebrew letters  on it. If it lands on “nun” then you get  nothing.

**CHERYL**

Not a big fan of nuns, tbh.

**TONI**

(rolls eyes)  “Gimel,” you get everything in the pot.  “Hei,” you get half. And “shin,” you shell  out, meaning you put one more coin in the  middle.

The dreidel stops spinning, it lands on gimel. TONI smiles, and grabs a pile of coins.

We cut wide, to show they’re sitting in a circle with a bunch of kids, who now look sad.

**CHERYL**

Sorry, small ones, my girl just plays  the game better than you.

TONI looks at CHERYL, bemused.

**CHERYL (Cont’d)**

What? It’s true.  (She grabs the dreidel)  My turn! Prepare to get hosed, losers.

CHERYL spins the top, we zoom in on it, as we...

  
  


**FADE TO: LATER THAT NIGHT**

CHERYL is sitting on one of the couches, clearly exhausted. A small child is trying to show her a toy, and she’s looking at him with disgust.

**CHERYL**

Shoo. Go on. Get.

TONI walks up, crosses her arms.

**TONI**

Andy, can you go bother your Mom or Dad?  Cheryl isn’t used to rugrats scrambling  around.

ANDY scrambles off, and CHERYL breathes a sigh of relief.

**CHERYL**

(Wrinkling her nose.)  The small ones have greasy hands,  I don’t want them touching me.

**TONI**

Come on, I want to show you something.

TONI grabs CHERYL’s hand in hers, and helps her off the couch. She leads CHERYL to a staircase near the entrance to the brownstone, then up the stairs.

At the top of the stairs, she leads CHERYL to a doorway. She smiles mysteriously, and opens the door, gesturing for CHERYL to enter.

The room is small, with a twin bed in the corner, a desk with a small, older Mac computer on it. On the walls are posters for clubs in New York City, advertising line-ups of bands. There are also a few pictures on the wall featuring a young girl who looks like TONI.

**TONI (Cont’d)**

Cheryl, welcome to my childhood room.

**CHERYL**

Oh my god. TT. It’s… So embarrassing.

**TONI**

(Snorts laughter) I know, right? It’s  mostly where I crash when I stay with  my Mom, but she’s kept it like a museum  from my tween years on.

CHERYL lightly brushes her fingers on a picture of TONI, then looks at her in real life.

**CHERYL**

Toni, how did I never know any of this?

**TONI**

...You never asked. Nobody ever does.  And we’re always dealing with serious  Blossom drama, or serial killers, or  whatever... There was never a good time  to bring it up.

CHERYL turns around and locks her fingers in TONI’s. She looks ashamed.

**CHERYL**

I want to know everything about you,  babe. All the parts.

TONI leads CHERYL to her bed, and they sit down. TONI is sitting cross-legged near the pillow, CHERYL’s leg is curled under her, she’s sitting towards the base of the bed. They’re still holding hands.

**TONI**

It’s not that complicated, really. My  Mom’s family was the only Jewish family  in Riverdale. She fell in love with my  Dad when she was really young. Her parents  didn’t approve, so they eloped together.  She joined the Serpents, and had me.

TONI pauses, trying to think how to proceed. Then looks back up at CHERYL.

**TONI (Cont’d)**

It was… Too much for Dad. He disappeared when  I was tiny, so I don’t really have any  memories of him other than my Mom hating him.

And my Mom was lost, destroyed… She found  solace in re-embracing Judaism, but there  was no real way to practice in Riverdale.  So she left, too. Grandpa raised me, and  when I was old enough he told me about my  mother and father. I tracked her down, and  confronted her, and… It was rough. But we  made it through, and now I understand her  better. And she understands me.

CHERYL lightly strokes TONI’s hand.

**CHERYL**

Oh babe, I didn’t know.

**TONI**

(Wiping a tear)  Now you do. And now you know where I  disappear to when I’m gone for a week.

**CHERYL**

(Awkwardly)  Oh. Right. Yeah, I definitely knew that  was happening.

TONI impulsively pushes her body towards CHERYL, and kisses her. The kiss becomes deeper, more passionate and they fall on the bed together, TONI’s head lying on the pillow.

CHERYL suddenly breaks the kiss, and looks at TONI, concerned.

**CHERYL (CONT’D)**

Wait, aren’t they going to have a problem  with you making out with your girlfriend  in your childhood bed?

**TONI**

Having a Serpent tattoo is a bigger issue  for Jews than homosexuality, babe.

**CHERYL**

Oh! Then where were we?

**TONI**

You were about to light my candles.

**CHERYL**

I think we can make this last for at  _ least _ eight nights.

TONI goes to kiss CHERYL again, but CHERYL stops her, placing a hand on her chest. CHERYL looks deep into TONI’s eyes, searching for something.

**CHERYL**

You’re my miracle, Toni. You know  that, right?

**TONI**

L’chaim. That means “to life,” but  for you? It’s  _ for _ life.

**CHERYL**

Shouldn’t it be le shy-am?

**TONI**

Shut up, Cheryl. Come over here and  gimel your girl.

TONI grabs her shirt and pulls her into a kiss. They continue to kiss, giggling, as we:

  
  


**FADE TO BLACK**

**Author's Note:**

> All characters are copyright Archie Comics.
> 
> This script will not (and should not) be used for any financial gain of any sort, it’s all just in good fun.


End file.
